Written by Christina Simanella
When an employee misses a deadline, their manager may soften the response when providing feedback because they want to preserve the relationship. As a result, the employee leaves with an incomplete understanding of the problem and repeats the same behavior. Both people become frustrated, and the employee first hears the full concern in a performance review. Managers often reach for a better delivery framework at this point, yet the wording of the message was only part of the problem. The employee and manager needed a shared agreement on when candid feedback should happen, who should initiate it, how direct the conversation should be or what each person was expected to do next. Leaders create a culture of feedback by establishing those expectations and earning the trust required to act on them.
Senior leaders often describe feedback as a cultural priority and then focus most of their effort on teaching managers how to deliver a difficult message. According to Gallup and Workhuman, employees who strongly agree that they receive valuable feedback from colleagues are five times as likely to be engaged, 57% less likely to experience burnout and 48% less likely to be looking or watching for another job.¹ Senior leaders therefore have a practical reason to examine the conditions around the conversation. Employees participate more fully when they understand what leaders expect, trust the person speaking, know how to respond and have regular opportunities to practise. Leaders first have to make the expectation unmistakable.
Set clear expectations
Leaders make feedback a credible priority when employees can see how it affects their work. They may introduce the intention in a values deck or at a town hall, but employees also need concrete guidance. Leaders should define who gives feedback, when a conversation should happen, how quickly a manager should address a concern and what the recipient is expected to do with the information. They should carry the same expectation into leadership objectives, employee competencies, job descriptions and performance conversations so that managers treat feedback as a core responsibility.
Employees can hold one another accountable only when the standard is specific enough to apply consistently. A manager who avoids a difficult conversation should receive the same follow-up as an employee who repeatedly dismisses useful input. Senior leaders can review whether managers address issues promptly and employees receive useful guidance. They can also look for recurring problems that remain unresolved, then use the findings to clarify expectations or provide support. Once employees know what the organization expects, they begin watching how leaders respond when someone follows through.
Build psychological safety
Employees decide how candid to be by watching leaders handle questions, mistakes, disagreement and uncomfortable information. A manager who invites challenge in one meeting and punishes it in the next teaches employees to stay cautious. A manager who listens carefully, asks follow-up questions, acknowledges their own errors and responds without humiliation gives employees a reason to speak. Employees build trust in a leader through many ordinary interactions, and they draw on that history when a difficult conversation begins. An employee may receive the same message as useful guidance or as a threat depending on who delivers it and how that person has behaved in the past.
Researchers working on Google’s Project Aristotle examined 180 teams and identified psychological safety as the most important of five factors associated with team effectiveness. Members of the strongest teams could ask questions, admit mistakes, raise concerns and take interpersonal risks without punishment or humiliation.² Employees make a similar calculation during feedback conversations. When they trust the manager’s intention, they can concentrate on the substance of the message and consider how to respond. Even in a trusted team, employees still need practice speaking clearly and hearing something difficult.
Build openness to feedback
Some managers soften a message or postpone a conversation because they want to protect the relationship. While they wait, the employee continues working without the information needed to improve, and the manager becomes increasingly frustrated. A manager who addresses the issue promptly gives the employee a fair chance to adjust while the details are still clear. Managers can protect the relationship by being specific about the behavior, respectful in their delivery, timely in raising the issue and clear about what should happen next. Both people speak more candidly when they understand that useful feedback supports performance and can strengthen the relationship.
Employees also watch how leaders respond when they receive feedback themselves. A leader who asks for input, listens without interruption, thanks the speaker and acts on useful information shows employees how to participate. When leaders become defensive, employees quickly learn which subjects are safe to discuss and which ones carry a personal cost. Leaders need to respond consistently, especially when the message is uncomfortable or comes from someone with less authority. By responding this way, leaders give employees evidence that candor is welcome, and employees will trust that evidence more than a statement in a values deck.
Leaders also need to train everyone who participates in a feedback conversation. Managers may deliver more formal performance feedback, while employees need to communicate laterally and upward as well as ask for guidance. People need judgment and a slightly different choice of language in each situation. Employees need opportunities to rehearse how to describe a specific behavior, explain its effect, listen to a response and agree on a useful next step. People retain those skills when they use them often, which means managers have to bring feedback into the normal rhythm of work.
Make feedback part of everyday work
Managers should use one-on-ones for regular conversations about progress and development. They can also debrief projects and important meetings while everyone still remembers the decisions and behavior involved. A presentation debrief, for example, may include one specific strength and one adjustment to try next time. The exchange can take only a few minutes when the manager has a clear example and the employee has room to respond. Employees can make manageable corrections as they work, while managers address concerns close to the events involved.
Managers and employees often reach an annual review with old notes and partial memories to guide the discussion. A manager may raise a concern for the first time even though the employee needed that information months earlier. When managers speak with employees regularly, employees have time to adjust, ask questions, solve problems and request clarification while the work is current. Managers also spend less time reconstructing events or stepping into problems that have already grown. When leaders expect managers to address issues promptly, employees are less likely to encounter surprises in a formal review.
Senior leaders can support the practice by asking managers how often they discuss performance, what prevents them from raising concerns, where they need more skill and which issues continue to recur. Managers can use the answers to plan better one-on-ones and seek help with difficult situations. Employees, in turn, gain clearer information about where they stand and what they can do next. As leaders repeat these choices across teams, employees begin to treat candid feedback as a normal part of the working relationship. When an employee misses a deadline, the manager can hold a useful conversation while both people still have a chance to correct the problem.
1 Gallup and Workhuman, The Human-Centered Workplace: Building Organizational Cultures That Thrive, 2024. gallup.com
2 Google, Project Aristotle, re:Work, study of 180 teams, 2012. rework.withgoogle.com
Author Bio: Christina Simanella, PPCC, is a former vice-president of human resources and a leadership development coach. She founded Sphere, a bilingual HR development community in Montreal, and has two decades of experience leading people functions and coaching executives.